On a Friday evening, a grandmother come visiting her granddaughter who just got married. After she knocked on the door of her granddaughter house, she was surprised to have her granddaughter, who open the door, naked without any clothes on. When she was about to ask her granddaughter, her granddaughter quickly say..
Granddaughter :: I'm waiting for my husband returned from work!.
Grandmother :: But you are naked!!!???
Granddaughter :: This is the "LOVE DRESS".
Grandmother :: the "LOVE DRESS"???
Granddaughter :: Yes, my husband really love it and I too love wearing it. I hope that you would leave before my husband returned from work because he might feel ashamed seeing me wearing this LOVE DRESS in front of you.
Her grandmother understood and thought that it is a new way a wife treating a husband on a Friday evening. On the way back home she got an idea. She think, if she followed the way her granddaughter treat her husband, it would be a great way to strengthen her relationship with her husband who is old. After returned to her house, she quickly take off all her clothes, have a shower, make-up herself and wear perfume until the whole house scent like the perfume. After a few minutes later, her husband returned home. Right after he open the door, her husband found that his wife is fully naked in front of the door. Her husband surprised and say
Grandfather :: What in world are you doing!!!
Grandmother :: Ohh darling this is the LOVE DRESS..
Grandfather :: LOVE DRESS???even if it is a LOVE DRESS, you suppose to iron the dress first.
THE DISLOYAL HUSBAND & WIFE.
Juliana :: Hilme...would you come to my house... i really miss you lah...besides, my husband went out oversea just now..
Hilme :: Really??I will be there tomorrow night, okay..i just know how to lie to my wife.
Juliana :: but before you come tomorrow would you shave your mustache first...you know how much i love male with baby face..
Hilme :: Aaaa...i think i cannot lah because my wife likes me keeping this mustache..i'm afraid she will be angry if i had shaved it...
Juliana ::
Hilme :: okay okay...for you my love i would do anything....
The next morning, when Hilme is going to his work place..he had informed his wife that he will be at home late..and....at his office Hilme shave his mustache before going to Juliana's house....
It was 4am
JAMAL WITH 100 CHICKENS
Once upon a time, there was a rich man who wants to do a feast for his son. For that reason he went to the town to buy chickens at Mr. Chua's store.
Rich Man :: I would like to order 100 chickens for tomorrow. This is my address (give his card)
Mr. Chua :: Okay sir. I will ask my worker to send the chickens to your place.
After that Mr. Chua called out his worker whose name is Jamal and hand over the instruction.
Mr. Chua :: Jamal, help me send 100 chickens, tomorrow, to this address (while giving the Rich Man's card).
Jamal :: 100 chickens??No problem boss...
The next day Jamal ride his motorcycle and send the 100 chickens. 50 chickens on the left side and another 50 chickens on the right side.
But suddenly, unfortunately, on the middle of the road, he fell from his motorcycle. All the chickens got away. Everyone who was there come to him to check whether he is fine or not.
but he suddenly laughing out loud. One of the people there ask him, maybe because he is worried to see Jamal laughing.
The asking man :: hey, are you alright?? you're not hurt right?
Jamal :: hahahaha....
The asking man :: hey why are you laughing?? seriously you are not injured badly right?
Jamal :: Hahahah......stupid chickens...where are they going?? Hahahaha....the address is with me....hahahaha
NEIL ARMSTRONG
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.
On July 5, 1995 (in Tampa Bay, FL) while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.
When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbor's bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky.
As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
True story.
3 MINISTERS
At a meeting with Minister of global Technology in Langkawi, Malaysia.Minister of Japan, U.S and Malaysia.
Japan's Minister = If you come to Japan and explore our land, just to 7 meters , you will find many chips, metal skeletons, an electronic circuit boards and everything in between. This shows that since the time of our fathers, Japanese people have the knowledge about robotic technology.
U.S's Minister = If you come to America and explore our land, just to 3 meters you will found a stable radioactive trace. This is an indication that since ancient times, we, Americans knows about nuclear technology.
Malaysia's Minister = Now that you are here in Malaysia, I will show you what are underneath our land.
(The Malaysia' Minister called out 2 diggers to dig the land. After just to 70 meters, both the diggers climb up out of the hole they dug.)
Malaysia' Minister = What did you find?
One of the digger = Nothing.
Malaysia' Minister = Did you find any PHONE CABLE down there?
One of the digger = Nothing sir.
Malaysia's Minister = (With an arrogant ogle to both the Minister of Japan and America) This is an indication that we Malaysians, since the ancient times already know the WIRELESS technology!!!
SCANDAL
A man who happened to be a young doctor is not feeling any comfort with what had happened.
He returned home with a very sad face. Arrival at home, he lie down in bed and his mind began to fly.
And he heard voices in his head saying "Oh come on cheer up, no need to think about it anymore. Scandals between doctors and patients make intimate contact occur everywhere. So you don't have to take it seriously.
The doctor tried to agree, but what had happened that morning sliding back and feeling uncomfortable reappear.
He reverses his body and hear the voices in his head again.
"No worries, people are already familiar with the sexual relations scandals between doctors and patients.
He start to feel calm and the feeling gradually recovered.
Suddenly another voice in his head says "But the problem is that you are a veterinary doctor........".
THE LOVE OF THE MALE AND THE VIRGIN
The Male = Yes, at last, this is what i have been waiting, for a long time.
The Virgin = Will you have the willingness in you if i am gone?
The Male = Of course NOT!!Don't you ever think such that!!!
The Virgin = Do you love me?
The Male = Yes, with all my heart!! it will FOREVER be that way.
The Virgin = Have you ever been cheating behind me with another person?
The Male = NO!!! I would not do anything UGLY such that!!
The Virgin = Will you kiss me??
The Male = Yes! My love..!!
After 5 years of marriage.
Please read from bottom to the top.
POEM OF HUSBAND AND WIFE .
Oh my wife,
If you are the earth,
Then i am the sun.
I will always illuminate you, because you need the light from me,
Remember, the ark we pedaled , it was full of waves..
I will always light you up, even sometimes the earth feels my glare of light..
But suddenly i remembered, the God also created not only the earth,
But also other planets which also need my illumination,
Thus....
Will you let me shines the other planets,
To give out the benefits i got,
It is a fate that my light is needed by the other planets.
***The Reply From The Wife***
Oh my husband,
If you really is, the shining sun,
The one which shines the light
I, with a willing heart, let you give your light to all of the planets ever existed,
Which God has created as they are the same as me
Needed the light you shone....
BUT !!!!!!!!!!
When you are only a short length of a wax,
With only the power of 5 watt,
Don't ever dream of lighting up other planets existed!!!!!
For even our small room,
You couldn't reach the maximum shines...
Look at yourself, in the mirror glass at the corner of the room,
In the middle of you poor shining light,
Which has I completely understand..
Have a look at who you really are..
A SUN or A WAX??
Or maybe..
Only just a match!!!!
Oh please!!
DON'T YOU EVER DREAM OF GETTING ANOTHER WIFE!!!
BEAUTY AND THE LAWYER
It happens in a flight Boeing 767 from Los Angelas to Malaysia. There sit a beautiful girl beside of a bright lawyer.
The brain of the bright lawyer, without any time wasted, asking the beautiful girl to play riddles. The beautiful girl who was in fatigue and tiredness, uninterested in playing any riddles, politely decline the invitation from the bright lawyer. The lawyer was not satisfied with the beautiful girl answer and felt like the beautiful girl look down on him and ask her a riddle.
The bright lawyer says " I will ask you a riddle, if you can answer my riddle i will give you 500 dollars but if you cannot answer the riddle you pay 5 dollars only..how that sounds to you??
The beautiful girl accepted the challenge without any unwillingness.
Then the bright lawyer ask the first riddle."How much distance between the earth and the moon???".
The beautiful girl was quiet and with barefaced she open her purse, take out 5 dollars and give it to the bright lawyer as a surrender sign.
"Now it's your turn",challenged the bright lawyer to the beautiful girl.
Then the beautiful girl ask him,"what animal climb up to the top of a mountain with 3 legs and climb down from the top of the mountain with 4 legs??".
The bright lawyer quickly take his laptop out from his beg and began to search for the information, no answer...He connect his Modem and search in the internet..no answer.
Almost giving up, he send e-mail to all his friends who worked as a doctor, lawyer, scientist, architect but no one has the answer.
After an hour of finding the answer he surrendered and wakes the beautiful girl up who was asleep and give her 500 dollars as a surrender sign.
Curious, the bright lawyer ask her what is the answer for her riddle.
Barefaced, the girl open her purse, take out 5 dollars, give it to the bright lawyer and answered "I DON'T KNOW".
PAK YU
A tourist from Taiwan, for the first time land his feet on the country called Malaysia. At the KLIA(Kuala Lumpur International Airport), he managed to confirm his entry at the Immigration . After handing over his passport, the Immigration officer ask him a few questions.
Officer = Name?
Tourist = Pak Yu (pronounced in Taiwan accent)
The Immigration officer got really mad and yell," F**K YOU!!, don't play with me. Now, your full name!".
The tourist answered "Pak Yu Tu."
TIPS ON HOW TO ANSWER YOU PHONE OR CELL PHONE.
1 - Haloo, may i speak to Plise St. Cent?
Answer = sorry, this is not a police station.
2 - Haloo, who is there?
Answer = i don't know, i am here, how may i know who is there.
3 - Haloo, can i talk to you father please?
Answer = if you want to talk with him, just talk with him. whyy are you asking me instead.
4 - Haloo, can you connect me to the number 323??
Answer = Sorry miss, numbers cannot be connected, it can only be added, subtract, multiply and divide only..
5 - Haloo, can i talk to CT?
Answer = sorry, the number you have dialed doesn't want to give its service TQ.
6- - Haloo, could you please call Sam, i want to talk with him.
Answer = please call him yourself, i'm busy.
7 - Haloo............
Answer = mental illness center here, do you want to register?
8 - Haloo, can i ask you something?
Answer = sorry this is not a counter inquiries.
9 - Haloo, is this number 3234412??
Answer = please dial up again, if i'm the one who answering it then yes it is correct..
